Episode 48 - Why Successful Women Are Using Core Values as Time-Saving Filters (And How You Can Too)
Welcome to Episode 48 of the Time for Living Podcast!
TRANSCRIPT
show notes
Ready to stop saying yes to everything and start making decisions that actually align with who you are? If you completed the core values work from last week's episode, this one is your next step. Today we're exploring how high-achieving women are transforming their overwhelmed schedules by using their core values as powerful decision-making filters. No more second-guessing, no more guilt, just clear choices that save you time and energy while building a life you actually love.
What You’ll Learn:
The 3-layer advanced system that helps you make confident decisions even under pressure
How to handle competing values and complex opportunities
Practical scripts for saying no without burning bridges
The energy audit that reveals which aligned activities actually drain you
Quick decision-making techniques for when you're put on the spot
By the end of this episode, you'll have a sophisticated framework for filtering every request, opportunity, and commitment through your values so you can build a career and life that truly fits who you are.
Key Takeaways
Your basic values filter gets three powerful upgrades: capacity check, opportunity cost analysis, and energy audit
Every "yes" is an automatic "no" to something else - get clear on the tradeoffs
Trust your energy response when evaluating aligned opportunities
Create "instant yes" and "instant no" lists for faster decision-making
Values-based time blocking protects what matters most
Free Resource:
Download the Core Values Discovery Guide, your comprehensive workbook with all four discovery questions, 100+ values list, and worksheets to define your personal decision-making framework: timeforliving.co/corevalues
Join my email list at timeforliving.co for weekly quick-win tips, exclusive resources, and a supportive community of ambitious women who get it.
READY FOR MORE:
Join the waitlist for The Time Aligned Blueprint - my signature program that helps you create sustainable systems across all areas of life timeforliving.co/tab
Let’s Connect:
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Final Thought:
Your values aren't just nice concepts to think about, they're practical tools that can transform how you spend your time and energy. Start using your filters this week and watch how much clearer your decisions become.
TRANSCRIPT - Why Successful Women Are Using Core Values as Time-Saving Filters (And How You Can Too)
THE SETUP
Hey there, welcome back to Time For Living. I'm so excited you're here because today we're taking everything you discovered last week about your core values and turning it into your secret weapon for saving time and energy every single day.
If you missed last week's episode about discovering your core values, pause this one and go listen to that first, it’s episode 47. Today builds directly on that foundation, and it will really help to have those five core values you identified to make the most of what we're covering.
For everyone who did the work last week, I've been getting so many messages about your breakthroughs. One listener wrote, "I finally understand why I feel drained after every networking event because it conflicts with my authenticity value completely." Another said, "Realizing that learning is one of my top values explained why I keep signing up for courses even when I don't have time."
This is exactly what I want to hear because now you're ready for the next step. Having clear values is wonderful, but the real transformation happens when you start using them as your personal filter for every decision. And that's what we're tackling today.
BUILDING ON YOUR BASIC FILTER
If you downloaded the Core Values Discovery Guide last week, you already have the basic decision-making filter with four key questions. Let me recap those quickly, then we'll build on that foundation with advanced strategies.
The basic filter asks: Does this align with at least one of my core values? Which of my values does this honor or conflict with? How will I feel about this decision in six months? And is this moving me toward or away from who I want to become?
These four questions are your starting point, and they're incredibly powerful. But today I want to give you advanced strategies for using this filter when life gets complicated.
Because here's what I've noticed. The basic filter works great when you have time to think through decisions carefully. But what about when your boss puts you on the spot? Or when someone asks you to take on something that technically aligns with your values but you're already overwhelmed? Or when you're dealing with competing values?
That's where these advanced strategies come in. I'm going to give you three additional layers to add to your basic filter that will help you make confident decisions even in tricky situations.
Advanced Layer One: The capacity check
Advanced Layer Two: The opportunity cost analysis
Advanced Layer Three: The energy audit
Let's break these down with real examples.
ADVANCED LAYER ONE: THE CAPACITY CHECK
Your basic filter already helps you determine if something aligns with your values. But alignment isn't enough. You also need to honestly assess whether you have the capacity to do this well without compromising your other values.
This is where a lot of high achievers get trapped. They say yes to everything that seems valuable, then end up doing nothing really well.
One of my clients values both excellence and family. She got asked to lead a big project at work that would definitely showcase her skills and advance her career. It aligned with her excellence value. But the timeline meant working evenings and weekends for two months, which would completely compromise her family value.
Old her would have taken it and tried to make it all work, probably ending up stressed and resentful. New her recognized she couldn't honor both values simultaneously with this opportunity. She negotiated a different timeline that would let her do excellent work while still being present for her family.
Sometimes the answer is no, not because the opportunity is wrong, but because the timing is wrong. And that's a perfectly valid reason to decline.
ADVANCED LAYER TWO: THE OPPORTUNITY COST ANALYSIS
This builds on that fourth question from your basic filter about how you'll feel in six months. Every yes is automatically a no to something else, so you need to get clear about what you're giving up.
Let's say someone asks you to volunteer for a cause you care about. It aligns with your values around service and community. You have the time. But if you say yes to this, you're saying no to the creative project you've been wanting to start, which aligns with your creativity value.
Neither choice is wrong, but being clear about the tradeoff helps you decide what matters most right now.
I use this question all the time in my own life. Last month, I got invited to be on a podcast series about productivity. It aligned with my values around teaching and helping other women. But if I said yes, I'd be saying no to focused work time on my new course. I decided the course was a better use of my energy for long-term impact, so I declined the opportunity.
ADVANCED LAYER THREE: THE ENERGY AUDIT
Here's the layer most people miss completely. Even if something aligns with your values and you have capacity and the opportunity cost makes sense, you still need to consider your energy.
Some activities that align with your values actually drain you, while others energize you. This usually comes down to how the activity connects to your values and what other factors are involved.
For example, I have a client who values helping others grow. Mentoring junior colleagues energizes her completely. But sitting on hiring committees, which also helps others grow by getting great people into the company, drains her energy. Same core value, different energy impact.
When you're making decisions, pay attention to how you feel when you think about the commitment. Does imagining yourself doing this work feel energizing or exhausting? Trust that instinct.
The beautiful thing about using all these layers together is that it takes the emotion and guilt out of decision-making. You're not saying no because you're lazy or antisocial. You're saying no because you're being strategic about living your values in a sustainable way.
COMMON OBSTACLES AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM
Now let's talk about what happens when you try to use this filter in real life. Because I guarantee you're going to run into some resistance, both from yourself and from other people.
Obstacle number one: "But it's a good opportunity." This is the one that gets so many of us. Someone offers you something that sounds impressive or potentially beneficial, and you think you should say yes even if it doesn't align with your values.
But listen, an opportunity is only good if it's good for you. There are thousands of good opportunities in the world. That doesn't mean you need to take all of them.
When this comes up, remind yourself that saying no to good opportunities creates space for great ones. The client I mentioned earlier who turned down the association board? Three months later, she got invited to join a creative collective that perfectly combined her values of creativity and growth. If she'd been busy with board meetings, she wouldn't have been available for something that was actually perfect for her.
Obstacle number two: People pleasing and fear of disappointing others. This is huge for so many professional women. You don't want to seem selfish or unhelpful.
Here's what I want you to remember. When you say yes to things that don't align with your values, you show up as a less authentic, less energized version of yourself. That doesn't actually serve anyone well.
The same client who turned down the board position? She recommended a colleague who was passionate about the organization's mission. That person was thrilled to get involved. By saying no to something that wasn't right for her, she created space for someone else to say yes to something that was perfect for them.
You're not responsible for taking every opportunity or fixing every problem. You're responsible for showing up authentically and contributing from your strengths.
Obstacle number three: FOMO, or fear of missing out. What if this is your only chance? What if saying no closes doors forever?
Listen, I understand this fear. But here's what I've learned from working with successful women. When you consistently make decisions aligned with your values, more aligned opportunities show up. It's like you're sending out a clear signal about who you are and what you care about.
The woman who values learning and turns down social events that feel surface level? She starts getting invited to more substantial gatherings. The woman who values creativity and stops taking on administrative tasks? She gets offered more creative projects.
Your values aren't limiting you. They're focusing you on the opportunities that will actually fulfill you and advance your real goals.
PRACTICAL SCRIPTS FOR SAYING NO
Okay, let's get really practical. What do you actually say when you want to decline something using your values filter?
You don't need to give a long explanation or justify your decision. Here are some scripts that work well:
"Thank you for thinking of me. This doesn't align with my current priorities, so I won't be able to take it on."
"I appreciate the opportunity. I've made a commitment to focus on projects that support my key goals this year, and this isn't a good fit right now."
"That sounds like a valuable initiative. It's not something I can contribute to effectively given my other commitments."
Notice that none of these scripts apologize or over-explain. They're polite but firm. You're not being rude. You're being clear.
If pressed for more details, you can say, "I've learned that I do my best work when I focus on projects that align closely with my strengths and priorities. This allows me to show up fully for the commitments I do make."
Most people will respect this kind of clarity, even if they're initially disappointed.
QUICK DECISION-MAKING IN THE MOMENT
Sometimes you need to make decisions quickly, without time to carefully analyze each opportunity through your values filter. Here's how to make this faster.
Create what I call your "instant yes" and "instant no" lists. These are types of requests or opportunities you know immediately align or don't align with your values.
For instance, if growth is one of your core values, your instant yes list might include speaking opportunities, leadership roles, or chances to learn new skills. Your instant no list might include purely social obligations that don't interest you or administrative tasks that could easily be delegated.
When something comes up that's on one of these lists, you can respond immediately without second-guessing yourself.
For everything else, buy yourself time. Say, "Let me check my schedule and get back to you by Friday." This gives you space to run it through your full values filter without the pressure of making an on-the-spot decision.
VALUES-BASED TIME BLOCKING
Here's another practical way to use your values as a time-saving filter. Block time in your calendar specifically for activities that align with each of your core values.
If learning is one of your values, block time every week for reading, courses, or skill development. If family is a core value, block time for family dinners or activities and protect that time like you would any important meeting.
When new requests come in, you can see immediately if they would interfere with your values-based time blocks. This makes it much easier to say no because you're not just declining an opportunity, you're protecting something that matters deeply to you.
COURSE CORRECTION WHEN YOU MAKE MISTAKES
Here's something nobody talks about enough. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to say yes to things that seemed aligned with your values but turned out not to be, or say no to things you later wish you'd accepted.
That's completely normal and part of the learning process. Instead of beating yourself up, use these experiences to refine your filter.
One of my clients said yes to mentoring someone because it seemed to align with her value of helping others grow. But the mentorship relationship became draining because the person wasn't taking action on her advice. She learned that her helping value was specifically about working with people who are committed to growth, not just anyone who asks for help.
Now she's much more selective about mentoring relationships, and both she and her mentees get better results.
Your values filter will get more sophisticated as you use it. The key is to keep adjusting based on what you learn about yourself.
WRAPPING UP: YOUR VALUES IN ACTION
Friend, I want to leave you with this. Your core values aren't just nice concepts to think about occasionally. They're practical tools that can save you hours every week and dramatically reduce your stress.
When you consistently make decisions through your values filter, you stop second-guessing yourself so much. You stop feeling guilty about saying no. You stop taking on commitments that drain your energy.
Instead, you start building a life and career that actually fit who you are. You show up more authentically in everything you do. And paradoxically, by being more selective, you often achieve better results because you're focusing your energy on things that truly matter to you.
This week, I want you to practice using your values filter on every request or opportunity that comes your way. Even small things. Notice how it feels to make decisions from this place of clarity instead of reaction or obligation.
And if you need support with this process, remember I've got that Core Values Discovery Guide at timeforliving.co/corevalues that includes worksheets for implementing everything we've covered today.
Thanks for listening to Time For Living. I'll see you next week, and until then, trust your filter. Your values know what's right for you, even when it feels scary to honor them.