Episode 47 - How to Discover Your Core Values (And Use Them to Save Time)

Welcome to Episode 47 of the Time for Living Podcast!

TRANSCRIPT

show notes

Most successful women are living by values that aren't even theirs. If you're crushing it professionally but feel scattered, busy but unfulfilled, always saying yes but feeling drained, this episode is your wake-up call. When there's a gap between what you think you value and how you actually live, that's where overwhelm lives. Today we're uncovering what you truly care about so you can make decisions with clarity instead of guilt.

What You’ll Learn:

• The four powerful questions that reveal your authentic values (not the ones you think you should have)

• Why your anger is actually your values trying to protect themselves

• How to use peak moments of authenticity to identify what energizes you

• The legacy test that clarifies your deepest priorities

• A practical 2-step process to choose and define your core values

By the end of this episode, you'll have crystal clear insight into your authentic values and a framework for making faster, guilt-free decisions about your time and energy.

Free Resource:

Download the Core Values Discovery Guide, your comprehensive workbook with all four discovery questions, 100+ values list, and worksheets to define your personal decision-making framework: timeforliving.co/corevalues

Join my email list at timeforliving.co for weekly quick-win tips, exclusive resources, and a supportive community of ambitious women who get it.

READY FOR MORE:

Join the waitlist for The Time Aligned Blueprint - my signature program that helps you create sustainable systems across all areas of life  timeforliving.co/tab

Let’s Connect:

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Final Thought:

Your values aren't just concepts - they're practical tools for creating a life that feels authentically yours. Stop living by everyone else's priorities and start honoring what truly matters to you.

TRANSCRIPT - How to Discover Your Core Values (And Use Them to Save Time)

INTRODUCTION

Hey friend, welcome back to Time For Living, or if you're new here welcome to the Time For Living family. Grab your coffee (or tea if you're me) because we're about to chat about something that can change everything for you. So let's just jump right in.

I think most of us successful women are living by values that aren't even ours. I know... that sounds crazy, right?

But think about it for a second. You probably say you value things like family and health and success. But when I look at your actual life, how you spend your days, where your energy goes, does it really match up?

Here's what I see all the time. Women tell me family is their top priority, but they're working sixty hour weeks. They say creativity matters to them, but they haven't touched anything creative in months. They value their health, but they're surviving on coffee and stress.

And listen, I'm not judging. I've been there too. We all have.

But here's the thing, when there's this gap between what we think we value and how we actually live, that's where all the overwhelm lives. That's where the exhaustion comes from. That's why you feel like you're running on a hamster wheel.

So today, we're going to figure out what you actually value. Not what you think you should value. Not what looks good on paper. But what genuinely lights you up and makes you feel like yourself.

I'm going to ask you four questions. And by the time we're done, you're going to have so much clarity about what really matters to you. Trust me on this one.

Ready? Let's do this.

QUESTION #1: WHEN DO YOU FEEL MOST LIKE YOURSELF?

Okay, first question. And I want you to really think about this one. When do you feel most like yourself?

Not when you're crushing it at work or getting the most done. I'm talking about those moments when you feel completely authentic and alive. When you think "yes, this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing right now."

Maybe it's when you're deep in problem-solving mode and everything else just disappears. Maybe it's when you're teaching someone something and watching that lightbulb go off. Maybe it's when you're creating something from scratch or bringing people together.

I had a client who told me she felt most like herself during those big strategic planning sessions at work. Not the day-to-day stuff, but when she could step back and see the whole picture and figure out how everything fits together. She said "I get to use my brain the way it actually works best."

That's exactly what I'm talking about. That feeling of "yes, this is me."

For another client it was completely different. She felt most herself when she was hosting dinner parties. She loved bringing people together and creating these beautiful experiences where everyone felt welcome. She said "time just disappears when I'm planning and hosting."

See the difference? For one, it was all about analysis and strategy. For the other, it was about connection and creating beauty.

Now here's what I want you to notice. What's actually happening in your moments? What values are showing up?

Don't dismiss these moments as "not important" or "just personal stuff." Another client felt most like herself when she was gardening, but she kept saying "that's silly, it's just a hobby." But when we dug deeper, gardening was all about growth and patience and nurturing, things that were completely missing from her high-pressure job. No wonder she felt drained all the time.

Your energy is telling you something important here. When you're doing something that lines up with your real values, you feel energized even when you're working hard. When it doesn't line up, you feel drained even when the work is easy.

So think about it. When do you lose track of time? When do you feel most confident and capable? When do you think "I could do this all day"?

Those moments are breadcrumbs leading you straight to your authentic values.

QUESTION #2: WHAT MAKES YOU MAD?

Alright, question number two. And this one might catch you off guard. What makes you mad?

I'm not talking about normal stuff like traffic or slow internet. I'm talking about the things that really get under your skin. The things that make you see red in a way that feels way bigger than the actual situation.

Maybe it's when people are constantly late and don't even text. Maybe it's when someone takes credit for work they didn't do. Maybe it's watching inefficiency, seeing people waste time on things that could be so much simpler. Maybe it's superficial small talk when there are real problems that need solving.

Here's why this matters. Your anger is usually your values trying to protect themselves. When something violates what you deeply care about, you feel it in your whole body.

One of my clients gets absolutely furious when she sees wasted potential. She told me about this brilliant colleague who got passed over for a promotion because she wasn't good at promoting herself. She was mad about it for weeks. When we talked about it, we realized her core values are fairness and helping people reach their potential. Her anger was telling her those values were under attack.

Another client gets really mad at dishonesty. Not just outright lies, but when people aren't authentic about their motivations or when they say one thing and do something completely different. That anger pointed us straight to her values of integrity and transparency.

Now, I'm not saying you should act on every angry impulse. But I am saying your emotional reactions are giving you gold here.

Think about the last time you felt really mad about something. What was actually being violated? Was it fairness? Respect? Honesty? Efficiency? Kindness?

Sometimes our anger shows us values we didn't even know we had. Another client thought she valued teamwork, but she kept getting really mad when group projects took forever because everyone had to weigh in on every tiny decision. Her anger helped her realize she actually values efficiency and quick decision-making way more than getting everyone's input.

Here's the cool part. Once you understand what triggers your anger, you can flip it around. If inefficiency makes you mad, you probably value systems and effectiveness. If unfairness bothers you, you probably value justice. If fake stuff annoys you, you probably value authenticity.

And practically speaking, when you're deciding how to spend your time, pay attention to what honors these deep values and what violates them. If you value authenticity but you're spending hours at networking events that feel totally fake, no wonder you're exhausted.

Your anger isn't just an inconvenient emotion. It's your GPS telling you when you're going the wrong direction.

QUESTION #3: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF TIME AND MONEY WEREN'T FACTORS?

Question number three. What would you do if time and money weren't factors?

I know, I know. You're thinking "but they are factors." But just stay with me here. This thought experiment is incredibly revealing.

When we take away all the practical stuff, our real desires get to come out and play. Most of the time we're so focused on what's realistic and responsible that we don't even let ourselves think about what we actually want.

But your core values don't care about your mortgage or your budget. They exist no matter what your bank account looks like. And when you give yourself permission to dream without limits, those values become crystal clear.

One of my clients said she'd travel to every continent and learn about different cultures. When I asked why, she said "because I want to understand how different people live and what we can learn from each other." That showed us her core values of learning and connection.

Another client said she'd start a foundation helping women get back into the workforce after having kids. Her values? Empowerment and practical support for women.

Now I'm not saying you need to quit your job tomorrow and start a foundation. But these big dreams contain important information about what drives you at the deepest level.

Look past the surface activity to what's underneath. If you said you'd travel the world, is that about adventure? Learning? Freedom? Beauty? If you said you'd start a business, is that about independence? Impact? Creativity?

Here's what I've noticed. When people answer this question, certain themes always come up. Some people always talk about creating something, they value innovation and self-expression. Others always talk about helping people, they value service and compassion. Others talk about learning and exploring, they value growth and discovery.

Pay attention to your patterns. What do you always come back to in your daydreams? What themes show up over and over?

Another client realized that every version of her ideal life involved teaching somehow. Sometimes teaching art, sometimes business skills, sometimes mentoring young women. The activity changed, but the core value, sharing knowledge and helping others grow, was always there. This helped her see that education and mentorship were huge values for her, even though her job as a financial analyst didn't involve much teaching.

And here's the beautiful thing. Once you know these core values, you can start finding ways to honor them right now. She started volunteering to train new hires at work and began mentoring women in her industry. She didn't change careers overnight, but she found ways to live her values while building toward bigger changes.

Time and money constraints are real. But they don't have to completely run your life. When you're clear on your values, you can get creative about honoring them even within limitations.

QUESTION #4: WHAT LEGACY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?

Last question. What legacy do you want to leave?

I'm not talking about being famous or having buildings named after you. I'm talking about how you want to be remembered by the people in your life. Your family, your colleagues, your community.

Maybe you want to be remembered as someone who always made people feel heard and valued. Maybe as someone who solved problems and made things better. Maybe as someone who brought joy into every room. Maybe as someone who stood up for what was right, even when it was hard.

One client said she wanted to be remembered as someone who helped other women believe in themselves and reach for bigger dreams. That pointed straight to her values of empowerment and possibility.

Another client wanted to be remembered as someone who brought people together and built bridges between different groups. Her core values? Unity and collaboration.

This question is powerful because it forces you to think beyond your immediate to-do list and consider what really matters in the long run. It helps you separate what looks impressive right now from what creates lasting meaning.

When you think about your legacy, you're thinking about the values you want to live consistently over time. You're thinking about who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve.

And here's the practical connection. Your daily choices either support that legacy or they don't. If you want to be remembered as someone who was present with family, but you're constantly checking email during dinner, there's a disconnect. If you want to be remembered as someone who helped others grow, but you never make time for mentoring, you're not living in alignment.

This isn't about beating yourself up. It's about getting clear. Once you know the legacy you want to leave, you can start making choices that actually support that vision.

Thinking about legacy helps you zoom out from all the daily urgency and focus on what truly matters. It helps you see the difference between being busy and being purposeful.

Your core values are the bridge between your daily choices and your desired legacy. They're your guiding principles for living in a way that's aligned with who you want to become.

CONNECTING THE DOTS

Okay friend, you just went through four powerful questions that reveal different pieces of your authentic self. Now it's time to connect the dots and get really specific.

Here's what I want you to do. Look for themes across all your answers. What words or ideas keep showing up? What underlying motivations appear again and again?

You might see that growth shows up in all your answers. Or connection. Or creativity. Or excellence. These patterns are pointing you toward your real core values.

Don't overthink this. Your gut instincts are usually spot on. The values that make you feel excited when you think about them? Those are probably your real ones. The values that feel like you should care about them but don't actually energize you? Those might belong to someone else.

Here's the test. Imagine making decisions based on your core values for the next week. Does that feel freeing or scary? If it feels freeing, you're on the right track. If it feels scary, you might need to keep digging.

Now, I know some of you might be thinking "okay, I have a sense of my values, but how do I get really clear and specific?" That's exactly where we're going next.

GETTING SPECIFIC WITH YOUR CORE VALUES

Here's the thing about values, they need to be more than just nice words. They need to be your actual framework for making choices. People who have crystal clear core values find it so much easier to make big life decisions around their careers, relationships, and how they spend their time.

These values become your foundation, and when you're clear on them, you're way less likely to get distracted by shiny objects or other people's priorities. You develop better self-discipline because you know what you're disciplining yourself for.

So let's get specific. I'm going to walk you through a practical exercise that will help you nail down your exact core values.

Action One: Choose Your Five Core Values

I want you to take about ten minutes and choose five values that truly align with who you are. Now, to make this easier, I've created a comprehensive list of over 100 different core values for you to work from. You can find this complete list in the Core Values Discovery Guide I'll tell you about in a minute, or if you're already on my email list, I sent it out in today's email.

The process is simple. Start by crossing out the ones you know immediately aren't you. Then keep narrowing it down until you find your five. If you can't choose just five, group similar values together into five main categories.

As you're going through the list, ask yourself: "What are the absolute non-negotiables in my life that are going to determine every direction and choice I make?" Those are your core values.

Action Two: Define What Each Value Means to You

Once you've identified your five core values, here's the crucial step most people skip. You need to define what each value means to you personally.

For example, if one of your values is "Growth," what does that actually mean? Does it mean learning new skills? Taking on bigger challenges? Personal development? Professional advancement? Helping others grow? Be specific.

If "Family" is one of your values, what does that look like in practice? Does it mean being present for dinner every night? Prioritizing family vacations? Being available when they need you? Supporting their individual goals?

The more detailed you get, the better. Consider how each value aligns with every aspect of your life and how it should influence your decision-making.

This clarity will help you in so many situations. When someone asks you to take on a new project, you can quickly check: does this align with my core values? When you're deciding how to spend your weekend, you have clear guidance. When you're facing a big life decision, you have your framework.

PUTTING YOUR VALUES TO WORK

Here's what I want you to remember. Your values aren't just concepts you think about once and forget. They're practical tools for making better decisions about your time, energy, and attention every single day.

And listen, I want to say something really important here. Your values are allowed to be a work in progress. This isn't about getting it perfect the first time. Your values can change and evolve as you grow and have new experiences.

The values that mattered most to you in your twenties might be different from what matters most in your forties. Maybe independence was huge for you earlier in your career, but now collaboration feels more important. Maybe success used to be about recognition, but now it's more about impact. That's completely normal and healthy.

I've had clients who identified their values and then six months later realized one of them wasn't quite right, or they wanted to add something new, or life circumstances shifted their priorities. That's okay. Actually, that's beautiful. It means you're paying attention to yourself and staying authentic as you evolve.

So don't put pressure on yourself to nail this perfectly forever. Think of this as your starting point, your foundation for now. You can always revisit and refine as you learn more about yourself.

When you're clear on your current values and what they mean to you, saying yes and no becomes so much easier. You have a filter for every opportunity that comes your way. And if that filter needs adjusting as you grow, that's part of the journey.

So as I said to help you with this entire process, I've created a comprehensive Core Values Discovery Guide that includes all four questions we covered today, the complete values list, and worksheets to help you define your values and start using them immediately. You can grab it at timeforliving.co/corevalues. It walks you through everything step by step and gives you templates to create your personal values framework.

Thanks for having this deep conversation with me today. Next week we're talking about how to use these newly discovered values as your personal time-saving filter in everyday situations. Because knowing your values is just step one. The real transformation happens when you start making decisions through the lens of what truly matters to you.

Until then, do the work. Get clear on your five core values and define what they mean to you. Your future self will thank you for the clarity.