Episode 57 - How to Set Goals as an Ambitious Mom (Start Right Now)
Welcome to Episode 57 of the Time for Living Podcast!
TRANSCRIPT
show notes
Most people jump straight into goal-setting—pick a number, make a plan, start working. But they skip the most important question: What am I even working toward? Why do I want this? What feeling am I chasing?
This is Part 1 of my 5-week Goal-Setting Series designed for busy moms who want more but don't have hours to figure it out.
IN THIS EPISODE
Why busy moms stop dreaming (and how to start again)
The 15-Minute Dream Session: Three questions that create clarity
The Three Life Buckets framework (simpler than the Wheel of Life)
Filter questions to test if your dreams are actually yours
How to know which dream to start with
This week's action: Answer three questions: What's working? What's missing? One year from now, what would different feel like?
Then write: "One year from now, I want to feel __________."
That's your north star for 2026.
FREE RESOURCE
The Dream Big Workbook: timeforliving.co/dreambig2 (includes the complete Dream Big System)
Let’s Connect:
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timeforlivingco/
• Email: hello@timeforliving.co
Final Thought:
What is your north star? "One year from now, I want to feel __________.".
TRANSCRIPT - How to Set Goals as an Ambitious Mom (Start Right Now)
INTRODUCTION
It's Wednesday night. The kids are finally asleep. You're scrolling through Instagram, and everyone else seems to have it figured out. Their businesses are thriving. Their houses are clean. They're crushing their goals while you're just trying to remember if you responded to that email from your kid's teacher.
And then it hits you: When did I stop dreaming about MY life?
Not your kids' activities. Not your household management system. Not even your business metrics. But what YOU actually want. What lights YOU up.
Maybe you even feel guilty for wanting more. You have a job, or you're building something on the side. You have healthy kids. A roof over your head. You should be grateful, right?
But here's what I learned in 2025 that changed everything for me: Wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful. It makes you human. And you don't need permission from anyone—not your partner, not your mom, not even yourself—to dream about what you actually want.
Welcome to Episode 57 of Time For Living, and this is Part 1 of our Goal-Setting Series for 2026. And fair warning: this year's series is going to look different. Because I realized something. We make goal-setting so complicated that nothing actually gets done.
So if you're listening to this while driving carpool, or during your lunch break, or while you're meal prepping for the week—perfect. This is designed for your real life, not some fantasy version where you have unlimited time and energy.
Let's talk about how to actually set goals that work - starting with the step most people skip: figuring out what you actually want.
SERIES INTRODUCTION
But before we jump in, let me give you the big picture. Because like I said this is Part 1 of our five-part Goal-Setting Series. And if you were here for last year's series, you'll notice things look different this time.
Last December, I gave you a comprehensive workbook, multiple exercises, and a detailed framework. And you know what? Some of you loved it. But most of you got overwhelmed and never finished.
So this year, I've simplified my entire goal-setting approach. Five steps instead of twenty. Fifteen minutes instead of hours. And I'm walking you through exactly what I do.
Here's how my goal system works:
Step 1 - Clarity: What do you actually want? That's today. Step 2 - Focus: Turning dreams into clear goals. Next week.Step 3 - Action: Breaking goals into 15-minute steps. Episode 59. Step 4 - Momentum: Building habits that stick. Episode 60. Step 5 - Flexibility: Adjusting without quitting. Episode 61.
By the end of this series, you'll have my complete process for setting and achieving goals—a way that fits your real life, not some fantasy version where you have unlimited time and energy.
Whether you're listening during your commute, while folding laundry, or squeezing this in during school pickup, you're in the right place.
Alright, let's jump into Step 1.
WHY MOMS STOP DREAMING
Before we talk about how to dream, we need to talk about why it's so hard for busy moms to even let ourselves dream in the first place.
I've talked to a lot of you over the past year, and I keep hearing the same patterns. See if any of these sound familiar.
First, there's what I call the Selfish Narrative. The voice that says, "Who am I to want more when my kids need me?" Or "My partner works so hard, I should just be happy with what we have." Or my personal favorite, "Other moms seem content. What's wrong with me?"
Here's the truth: Dreaming about what you want isn't taking away from your family. It's modeling for your kids what it looks like to have a life you've chosen, not just one you've defaulted into.
When your daughter sees you working toward something that matters to you, she learns that her dreams matter too. When your son sees you prioritizing what lights you up, he learns that his mom is a whole person, not just someone who exists to serve everyone else.
Then there's the Exhaustion Factor. You're making a hundred decisions before 9am. You're managing work deadlines and permission slips and what's for dinner. You're toggling between spreadsheets and school pickup. By the time everyone's in bed, you're too tired to even think about what you want. So you scroll, or watch Netflix, or just zone out. Because dreaming takes energy you don't have.
But what if I told you dreaming doesn't have to be this big, exhausting thing? What if it could happen in the five minutes you're sitting in the school parking lot waiting for dismissal?
There's also the Time Trap. "I'll figure out what I want when things calm down." When the kids are older. When the business is more established. When we're more financially stable. When we move into a bigger house. When, when, when.
But here's what I've learned: there's never a perfect time. Life doesn't calm down. It just changes shape. The chaos of toddlers becomes the chaos of after-school activities becomes the chaos of teenagers. It's always something.
And if you keep waiting for the perfect moment to start dreaming, you'll wake up five years from now wondering where the time went.
And finally—and this one's sneaky—there's the Comparison Spiral. You see someone's launch on Instagram. Their morning routine. Their revenue screenshot. Their family vacation. And suddenly your dreams feel small or silly or not impressive enough. So you don't dream at all. You just feel behind.
But here's what you don't see: You don't see that they have full-time childcare. You don't see that their partner does all the cooking and cleaning. You don't see the credit card debt funding that lifestyle. You don't see the 47 takes it took to get that perfect reel.
You're comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. And it's killing your ability to dream about what YOU actually want.
So let me say this clearly: You're allowed to want things. You're allowed to dream about a life that's different from the one you're living right now. And you don't have to wait for perfect circumstances to start.
That's your permission slip. Not that you need it from me, but if it helps to hear it: You have permission to want more.
THE 15-MINUTE DREAM SESSION
Okay, let's get practical. If you listened to Episode 56, we talked about the 15-minute framework—how small pockets of time can create real momentum. Today, we're applying that to dreaming.
I'm going to walk you through three questions. You can do this right now while you're listening, or you can pause and come back to it. You can do it in your notes app, in the margins of a notebook, or even as a voice memo to yourself.
The beauty of this method? It takes 15 minutes. Not 15 hours. And it works because it's simple enough that you'll actually do it.
If you want the guided version, grab the Dream Big Workbook at timeforliving.co/dreambig2.0. But you don't need it. You just need something to write with and six minutes of honesty with yourself.
Question 1: What's Working? (2 minutes)
Not what's perfect. Not what looks good on paper. What's actually working in your life right now?
This isn't a gratitude exercise. It's a clarity exercise. Because we need to know what to protect and what to build on.
Think about your typical week. What moments do you not want to lose? What parts of your routine actually serve you?
Maybe it's, "I love that I can pick my kids up from school most days because I work from home." Or "My Tuesday morning gym class is the one hour where I'm not thinking about work or kids." Or "That ten minutes of quiet with my coffee before everyone wakes up keeps me sane."
Write down three things that are working. Just three.
Now here's the key question: What do I want MORE of?
Because often, our dreams aren't about adding completely new things. They're about expanding what's already working.
If you love those quiet morning moments, maybe your dream is, "I want daily space that's just mine, not squeezed in or stolen."
If working from home is working, maybe it's, "I want to grow this side business so I can eventually do this full-time."
If you love creating content for your business, maybe it's, "I want more time actually creating, less time stuck in administrative tasks."
A listener told me recently that what was working for her was the flexibility of her current job. She could leave for school events. She could work from home when her kid was sick. But what she wanted more of was control over her income. She was capped at her salary, and she wanted to build something where her effort directly impacted what she earned.
That insight—I want more control—led to her starting a side business. But she only got there by asking: what's working that I want more of?
Take two minutes. Write down three things that are working, and then ask yourself what you want more of.
Question 2: What's Missing? (2 minutes)
This is different from what's wrong. It's not about complaining or listing everything that's broken.
It's about noticing what's absent. The thing you can't quite name but you feel it.
Maybe it's, "I haven't had a conversation about something other than kids or logistics in weeks."
Or, "I'm building this business, but I don't feel like I'm building toward anything meaningful."
Or, "I never have time to just think. I'm always reacting."
Or, "I used to love reading. I can't remember the last time I read a book just for fun."
Write down what you feel is missing. Not what you think should be there. What you actually miss or long for.
Here's a prompt that helps: Close your eyes for a second. Think about your ideal Tuesday afternoon. Not some fantasy—just a regular Tuesday, one year from now. What's different about it? What's present that isn't there now?
For me, when I did this exercise last year, what was missing was margin. I was productive, sure. I was getting things done. But I felt like I was constantly sprinting. There was no space between things. No breathing room. That feeling of "I'm always behind" even when I was hitting my deadlines.
Once I named what was missing—actual margin in my days—I could start dreaming about what it would look like to build that in.
Another mom I know realized what was missing was identity. She was "Jackson's mom" at school. She was "the marketing person" at work. She was "honey" at home. But she couldn't remember the last time someone asked what SHE was interested in, outside of those roles.
That realization led to her dream of building something that was hers. Something she could point to and say, "I made this."
Take two minutes. What's missing?
Question 3: What Would Different Look Like? (2 minutes)
Not perfect. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just different.
One year from now—fall 2026—what has changed?
And here's the key: Focus on how you want to FEEL, not just what you want to achieve.
This is where most goal-setting misses the mark. We focus on the outcome—the number, the title, the achievement—but we forget to ask: why do I want that? What feeling am I actually chasing?
Let me give you some examples of what I mean.
Instead of, "I want to grow my business to $10K a month," try, "I want to feel financially secure enough that I'm not constantly stressed about money. I want to feel proud of what I've built. I want to know that if something happened to my partner's job, we'd be okay."
Instead of, "I want to lose 20 pounds," try, "I want to feel strong and energized. I want to feel confident in photos with my kids. I want to stop thinking about my body and just live in it."
Instead of, "I want my kids to be more independent," try, "I want to feel like I'm raising capable humans, not just managing their every move. I want to trust them more. I want to stop feeling like everything will fall apart if I'm not orchestrating it."
See the difference? When you name the feeling, you can find multiple paths to get there. When you just focus on the number or the outcome, you might hit it and still feel empty.
One mom told me her different looked like this: "I'm working the same hours, but I'm not exhausted. I'm saying no without guilt. And when someone asks what I do, I actually feel excited to tell them."
Another said, "I'm not drowning in the mental load. My partner is actually partnering, not just helping when I ask. And I have time to work on my business without feeling like I'm stealing it from my family."
What's your different? What feeling are you chasing?
Take two minutes and write it down.
Okay, pause here if you need to. Go through those three questions. This is the foundation for everything we're building in this series.
THE REALITY CHECK
Alright, so you've done the three questions. You're starting to see some clarity. Maybe some things came up that surprised you. Maybe you confirmed what you already suspected.
But now comes the part no one talks about: your dreams have to fit your actual life.
And I don't mean that in a "dream smaller" way. I mean it in a "be honest about your capacity" way.
Because here's what happens: We see someone else's dream life on Instagram and think, "I want that." But we don't see their behind-the-scenes. We don't know that they have full-time childcare, or that their partner handles all the household management, or that they're going into debt to fund that lifestyle, or that they've sacrificed their health or their relationships to get there.
Your dreams need to be YOURS. Not theirs. And they need to fit the season you're actually in.
The Season You're In
Let's be real about life seasons for a second.
If you're in the thick of young kids—toddlers who need constant supervision, babies who still wake up at night—your capacity is different than someone whose kids are in school full-time.
If you're working a demanding full-time job AND building a side business, your available time is different than someone who's doing one or the other.
If you're dealing with aging parents, health issues, financial stress, relationship challenges—all of that affects what's realistic right now.
And that's okay. That's not settling. That's being strategic.
Here's my reframe: Your dreams don't have to be smaller in these seasons. They just might need to be slower or staged differently.
For example, if you're working full-time and building a business on the side, your dream might not be "six-figure business by December." It might be "consistent $2K months so I can prove to myself that this is viable and start planning my exit strategy."
That's not a small dream. That's a smart dream.
Or if you have young kids at home, your dream might not be "write a book this year." It might be "write 15 minutes a day so that by this time next year, I have a draft."
Same dream. Different timeline. And that's okay.
The Three Life Buckets
Instead of the classic Wheel of Life with eight different categories—which honestly just feels overwhelming when you're already juggling everything—I want you to think about three buckets.
Bucket 1: YOU Your identity, growth, dreams, health, personal development. The things that fill YOUR cup.
Bucket 2: THEM Family, relationships, friendships, caregiving. The people you love and care for.
Bucket 3: WORK Career, business, income, impact, professional identity. The work that supports your life.
Take a second and think about your typical week. Which bucket is overflowing? Which one's completely empty?
For most mom entrepreneurs I talk to, the "Them" and "Work" buckets are overflowing. The "You" bucket is bone dry.
You're taking care of everyone else. You're managing the household. You're building the business or showing up at your job. But when's the last time you invested in yourself? Not in a "bubble bath self-care" way. In a real, identity-building way.
When's the last time you did something just because you wanted to, not because it served your business or your family?
When's the last time you spent money on yourself without justifying it or feeling guilty?
When's the last time you prioritized your own growth, your own learning, your own dreams?
Here's the thing: You don't need perfect balance across all three buckets. That's impossible when you're in the season of building something while raising humans.
But you DO need to know which bucket you're intentionally filling right now—and which one you're planning to fill next.
In 2025, my "Work" and "Them" buckets were overflowing. The "You" bucket was empty. Completely empty. I couldn't remember the last time I did something just for me that wasn't also content for the podcast or an example I could share with you all.
So one of my 2026 goals is to fill the "You" bucket. Even just a little. Because I realized something: if I'm empty, everything else eventually suffers anyway. I can't pour from an empty cup, as cliche as that sounds. It's true.
Your turn. Which bucket needs attention in 2026?
You don't have to fix all three. You don't have to balance them perfectly. Just notice which one you're neglecting.
Because that awareness is going to inform the goals we set next week.
FROM FUZZY TO FOCUSED
Alright, you've done some dreaming. You've been honest about your season and your buckets. Now we need to get clear on what you actually want.
Because here's what I've noticed: Most of us don't need MORE dreams. We need clarity on the dreams we already have swirling around in our heads.
So I want you to run your dreams—whatever came up during the three questions—through these filter questions. Think of them as truth tests.
Filter #1: Does this energize me or just sound good?
Be honest. Are you excited about this dream, or do you just think you should want it?
Example: "I should want to grow my Instagram following to 10,000." But when you really think about it, social media drains you. You hate being on camera. You don't actually enjoy it.
What you actually want is connection with your audience and clients. Which might look totally different than Instagram growth. Maybe it's email. Maybe it's one-on-one conversations. Maybe it's something else entirely.
Strip away the "should" and ask: does this energize me?
Filter #2: Am I chasing this because I want it, or because someone else is doing it?
The comparison trap is real. Just because she's launching a course doesn't mean you need to. Just because he quit his job to go full-time doesn't mean that's your path.
Your dream might be the exact opposite of what's trending, and that's okay.
One mom told me she realized she was trying to build a big team because that's what successful entrepreneurs do, right? But when she really thought about it, she wanted to stay small. She liked doing most of the work herself. She liked the simplicity.
Once she gave herself permission to want something different, everything got easier.
Filter #3: If no one knew about this goal, would I still want it?
This one's crucial. Strip away the external validation. The applause. The Instagram announcement. The bragging rights.
Do you still want this?
If the answer is no, it might not be YOUR dream. It might be someone else's expectation.
Filter #4: Does this fit who I am NOW, or who I was five years ago?
We change. Our circumstances change. Our values shift. Our priorities evolve.
Sometimes we're holding onto dreams that don't fit anymore, and we're too guilty to let them go.
It's okay to want different things than you wanted five years ago. It's okay to say, "That was important then, but it's not important now."
Maybe you used to dream about a corporate promotion, but now you dream about flexibility. That's not failure. That's growth.
Maybe you used to dream about a big house, but now you dream about less stuff and more experiences. That's allowed.
Give yourself permission to let go of dreams that don't serve who you are now.
Your Starting Point
Here's your homework before next week's episode. Just one thing.
Look at everything that came up during your three questions. All the dreams, all the desires, all the things you want more of or want to feel.
Write down three dreams. Just three.
Now circle the one that won't let you go. The one that keeps showing up. The one that makes your heart beat a little faster, even if it scares you.
That's your starting point.
Not all three. Just one. Because progress happens when we focus, not when we scatter our energy across twenty different goals.
Next week in Episode 58, we're taking that one dream and turning it into a goal you can actually achieve. Not vague "I hope this happens someday." Specific, clear, doable.
THE BRIDGE TO ACTION
Let's bring this home.
If you did the last goal-setting series with me back in December 2024, you might remember I gave you a comprehensive workbook. Exercises for days. And some of you loved it. But most of you got overwhelmed and didn't finish.
So here's what's different this year: Less to do. More likely you'll actually do it.
The Dream Big Workbook is available at timeforliving.co/dreambig2.0. It's streamlined—just the exercises, no fluff. About 25 pages total for all five episodes
Because here's what I learned in 2025: The moms who made progress weren't the ones who did every exercise perfectly. They were the ones who picked ONE thing and actually started.
So your homework before Episode 58 is simple.
Finish this sentence: "One year from now, I want to feel __________."
Not achieve. Not accomplish. FEEL.
That feeling? That's your north star for this entire series.
Maybe it's, "I want to feel proud of what I'm building."
Or, "I want to feel like I have breathing room in my life."
Or, "I want to feel like myself again, not just someone's mom or someone's employee."
Or, "I want to feel confident that I'm building something that could support my family."
Whatever it is, write it down. Put it somewhere you'll see it. Screenshot it and make it your phone background. Stick a Post-it note on your bathroom mirror. Whatever works.
Because next week, we're turning that feeling into goals that fit your 15-minute framework. We're going from fuzzy dreams to focused action. And I promise you, it's not going to be complicated. It's going to be clear.
Here's what I know about you: You're not lazy. You're not unmotivated. You're not lacking in dreams.
You're just tired of systems that don't work for your real life. You're tired of feeling behind. You're tired of watching everyone else seem to have it figured out while you're still trying to find five minutes to think.
This series is for you. And it's going to work because we're keeping it simple.
So take your 15 minutes this week. Do the three questions. Find the feeling you're chasing. That's all you need to do.
And I'll meet you next week in Episode 58 to turn that feeling into reality.
Until then, keep making time for living.