Episode 45 - Why Your Brain Feels Like It Has 15 Tabs Open (And How to Close Them)
Welcome to Episode 45 of the Time for Living Podcast!
TRANSCRIPT
show notes
Do you ever feel like you're physically in one place but mentally everywhere else? If you're constantly shifting between work mode, mom mode, partner mode, and personal time but never feeling fully present in any of them, this episode is your roadmap to mental clarity. Discover the simple transition rituals that help high-achieving women stop living in scattered chaos and start showing up fully for each part of their day.
What You’ll Learn:
Why you feel mentally scattered even when you're incredibly capable
The 4-step transition ritual that transforms your entire day in 2-10 minutes
How to customize transitions for different shifts throughout your day
Why time blocking creates the foundation for seamless transitions
The difference between being busy everywhere and being present somewhere
By the end of this episode, you'll know exactly how to close those mental tabs and be fully present for each part of your life instead of feeling scattered across all of them.
Free Resource:
Grab the Taking Control of Your Time Workbook, your guide to identifying exactly where your mental energy is going and how to reclaim it for what matters most: timeforliving.co/takingcontrol
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READY FOR MORE:
Join the waitlist for The Time Aligned Blueprint - my 5-week program that takes you from scattered and reactive to systematically aligned across all areas of life. timeforliving.co/tab
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Final Thought:
You're not scattered because you're doing too much - you're scattered because you're trying to do everything in the same mental mode. Your present, intentional life starts with present, intentional transitions.
TRANSCRIPT - Why Your Brain Feels Like It Has 15 Tabs Open (And How to Close Them)
IntroductioN
Hey there, my friend. Grab your coffee, or tea if you're like me, and get comfortable, because what we're talking about today is going to completely change how you move through your day. And honestly? It might make you realize you've been making things way harder on yourself than they need to be.
If this is your first time here on Time For Living, welcome and if you’re a seasoned listener, welcome back, my Time For Living family. You're about to uncover why you sometimes feel mentally scattered even when you're incredibly capable and organized in so many areas of your life.
So picture this with me: It's Tuesday morning. You've already navigated the morning chaos, whether that was getting everyone ready and out the door, or diving straight into emails and calls, or managing the usual breakfast negotiations and finding missing shoes. Now you're trying to shift into focused work mode, but your brain is still replaying the morning's events.
Maybe you just finished a team meeting and need to dive into deep creative work, but your mind is still processing everything that was discussed. Maybe you've been handling household management and kid logistics since 6am, and now you want to focus on your business or personal projects, but you can't seem to switch out of reactive mode. Maybe you just dropped the kids at school and have a precious two-hour window to work on something meaningful, but you're mentally stuck in mom mode, thinking about the permission slip you forgot to sign or whether you packed enough snacks for their field trip.
You sit down to focus, but your brain feels like it has fifteen browser tabs open. You're physically in one place, trying to do one thing, but mentally you're scattered across everything that just happened and everything that's coming next.
Can we just be honest for a second? This mental fog is exhausting. And I know you're sitting there thinking, "If I could just focus better, if I could just compartmentalize..." But here's what nobody's telling you: you're not the problem. You don't need better focus or stronger willpower.
You need to learn how to close one chapter before starting the next. And that starts with something so simple, most people completely skip it.
THE PROBLEM
Here's what I've discovered working with incredible women who are juggling multiple roles and responsibilities: We're treating our days like one long, continuous stream instead of recognizing that we actually shift between completely different modes of thinking and being throughout the day.
One client told me, "I feel like I'm never fully anywhere mentally. I'll be in a work meeting but thinking about dinner. I'll be helping with homework but my brain is solving a client problem. I'll be trying to have a conversation with my partner but I'm mentally planning tomorrow's schedule."
Another shared, "The hardest part of working from home isn't the distractions, it's that I can't seem to shift gears. I'll finish a stressful client call and immediately need to help with lunch, but I'm still carrying that work energy into mom time. Then when I try to get back to work, I'm still in caregiver mode."
And from a mom who's been building her own business: "I have these precious pockets of time when I could work on my dreams, but by the time I sat down to focus, half my time is gone because I couldn’t get my brain to switch from household mode to creative mode."
Do you hear yourself in these stories? Because here's what I discovered, not just for me, but for every woman I've worked with who's gone from scattered across multiple modes to actually present in each one.
THE AHA MOMENT
I used to think that feeling scattered was just part of being a woman who cares about multiple things. Like, this is just how it feels to be responsible for work and family and household and personal goals, right? You're always going to feel like you're mentally everywhere because you literally are everywhere.
But then I started paying attention to something that changed everything for me.
I'd started the morning getting my kiddo ready for school, the usual chaos of breakfast, finding homework, last-minute questions about the field trip. Then I came home and immediately jumped into client work. Then I had to switch to household management mode for grocery pickup and meal prep. Then back to business mode for an important call. Then into mom mode for after-school pickup and homework help.
By dinnertime, I felt completely drained, but when I looked at what I'd actually accomplished, it didn't match how exhausted I felt. That's when I realized what was happening: I wasn't transitioning between these different parts of my day, I was just accumulating them.
I was carrying the rushed energy from the morning school run into my client work, which made me feel frantic and scattered during what should have been focused time. Then I was bringing that work stress into family time, which made me impatient and distracted when my family needed my presence.
The next day, I decided to try something different. After the morning school routine, instead of immediately diving into work, I took five minutes to take a few deep breaths, and consciously shift from "mom getting everyone ready" to "professional ready to serve my clients." It sounds almost too simple, but those five minutes completely changed the quality of my next two hours.
Later, when I finished my work block and needed to transition into household management, I closed my laptop, washed my hands, and took a moment to shift from "business owner" to "home manager." Again, just a few minutes, but suddenly I felt present for what I was doing instead of mentally elsewhere.
That evening, my partner commented that I seemed more relaxed than usual. And I realized: when you're fully present for each part of your day, you actually have more energy at the end of it, not less.
THE SOLUTION
Alright, let me introduce you to what I call transition rituals, think of these as mental bridges that help you move from one mode to another throughout your day.
Now, before you think, "Lucy, I barely have time to breathe between tasks, let alone add rituals," hear me out. This isn't about adding more to your day. This is about being intentional with the shifts you're already making, so each part of your day gets your full presence instead of your scattered attention.
Here's my transition ritual framework that takes 2-5 minutes depending on the transition, and you can adapt every piece to fit your real life:
Step One: The Close-Out, 1-3 minutes Before I move from one mode to another, I take a moment to consciously complete the previous one. If I'm finishing focused work, I write down where I left off and what's next. If I'm wrapping up household tasks, I quickly scan what got done and what needs attention later. If I'm ending family time, I notice one thing that went well.
This isn't about being perfect, it's about giving your brain permission to stop thinking about what you just finished.
Step Two: The Physical Reset, 30 seconds to 2 minutes I do something with my body to signal the shift. This might be washing my hands when moving from household tasks to work mode. Standing up and stretching when transitioning from a meeting to deep work. Changing my clothes when shifting from work to family time. Taking three deep breaths when moving from reactive mode to creative mode.
The key is it has to physically signal to your nervous system that you're shifting gears.
Step Three: The Intention Bridge, 30 seconds I set a clear intention for what I'm moving into. Not a to-do list, but an energy and focus intention. "I'm moving into deep work mode." "I'm transitioning into present family time." "I'm shifting into creative flow." "I'm entering caregiver mode with patience and presence."
Step Four: The First Action, immediate I start the new mode with one intentional action that anchors me in that energy. If I'm moving into work mode, I might organize my desk or review my priorities. If I'm shifting into family time, I might ask someone about their day. If I'm entering creative mode, I might turn on my diffuser or put on specific music.
Now, here's what this looked like for me yesterday, because I want you to see how this works across different types of transitions:
Morning transition: After camp drop off, I sat at my desk for two minutes, took three deep breaths, and set the intention to be fully present for my client. I started work by reviewing my agenda instead of just diving in reactive.
Mid-morning transition: After my client call, I washed my hands, did some shoulder rolls, and consciously shifted from "problem-solver" to "creative thinker" before working on a project.
Afternoon transition: When I finished work and needed to shift into household mode, I closed my laptop intentionally, changed into comfortable clothes, and set the intention to handle errands with calm efficiency.
Evening transition: Before family dinner, I stepped outside for one minute, took a few breaths, and set the intention to be present and curious about everyone's day.
Each transition took less than five minutes, but the impact on my energy and presence was dramatic.
THE FOUNDATION FOR TRANSITIONS
Now, you might be wondering, how do I know what I'm transitioning between? This is where having a time-blocked day becomes your foundation for successful transitions.
If you've never structured your day intentionally, these transition rituals can feel random or overwhelming. But when you've planned your day with specific blocks of time for different types of work and activities, transitions become natural stopping and starting points.
Let me give you a quick overview of how this works, and if you want the full framework, check out my podcast episode 15 where I break down time blocking completely.
The key is creating what I call "themed blocks" throughout your day. Instead of randomly switching between tasks, you group similar activities together. Maybe Monday mornings are for creative work, Tuesday afternoons for admin tasks, Wednesday evenings for family time. When you know that 9am to 11am is your focused work block, and 11am to 12pm is your meeting block, you have a natural transition point at 11am.
Here's what makes this powerful: when you've intentionally planned that your morning is for deep work and your afternoon is for family activities, you can transition with confidence instead of guilt. You're not wondering if you should still be working when you're with your kids, you know that work time is complete and family time is beginning.
The magic happens when you build buffer time between your blocks. These aren't empty spaces, they're transition spaces. Five minutes between your client calls and creative work. Ten minutes between finishing household tasks and starting personal projects. These buffers become your natural homes for transition rituals.
So if you're thinking, "I love this transition idea but my day feels chaotic and unstructured," start with basic time blocking first. You don't need a perfect system, just some intentional boundaries around different types of activities so you know what you're transitioning from and to.
CUSTOMIZATION
The beauty of transition rituals is that they're completely flexible. You might need different rituals for different types of transitions throughout your day.
For the transition from reactive morning chaos to focused work: Maybe it's making a specific cup of tea, tidying your workspace, and setting a clear intention for your work session.
For shifting from meeting-heavy time to deep creative work: Maybe it's taking a short walk, doing some stretches, or putting on noise-canceling headphones with soft music.
For moving from household management to personal project time: Maybe it's lighting a candle, sitting quietly for three minutes, or putting on clothes that make you feel creative and capable.
For transitioning from caregiving mode to partner connection time: Maybe it's taking a quick shower, making yourself a cold drink, or doing five minutes of breathing exercises.
The key is matching the ritual to the transition. High energy activities work well when you need to amp up. Calming activities work when you need to wind down. Physical movement helps when you've been sedentary. Stillness helps when you've been in motion.
One of my favourites is using music as my transition tool, I have specific playlists for shifting into work mode, family mode, and personal time. Another transition method I like is changing location, just literally move to different spaces in your house for different activities and take a moment to settle into each space.
The magic isn't in the specific ritual, it's in the intentional pause that tells your brain and body, "We're shifting now. Be present for what's next."
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Here's why this matters beyond just feeling more organized. When we constantly operate in transition mode without ever fully arriving anywhere, we're living in a state of chronic mental multitasking. We're never fully present for our work, our relationships, our creative projects, or our rest.
You're not just trying to be more efficient, you're trying to actually enjoy and be present for the different parts of your life. And that requires being able to show up fully for each one instead of bringing yesterday's energy into today's tasks, or this morning's stress into this afternoon's opportunities.
The women I work with who master these transitions report something beautiful: they actually like their days more. Not because they have less to do, but because they're present for what they're doing. Their work feels more satisfying because they're focused. Their family time feels more connected because they're actually there. Their personal projects make progress because they can access their creative energy instead of being stuck in reactive mode.
This isn't about perfection or having the perfect routine. It's about recognizing that every time you shift from one activity to another, you have an opportunity to show up fresh instead of carrying forward whatever energy you don't need anymore.
SUMMARY
Alright, beautiful humans, here's your challenge for this week. Pick one transition in your day that consistently feels rough or scattered. Maybe it's the shift from morning chaos to focused work. Maybe it's moving from meetings to creative tasks. Maybe it's transitioning from work mode to family time, or from caregiving to personal time.
For that one transition, try adding just one element: either a physical reset, a clear intention, or a moment to close out what you just finished. Start small, even thirty seconds of intentional transition is better than zero seconds.
And if you're thinking, "This makes so much sense, but I need help identifying where I'm losing energy and focus throughout my day," I've got something for you. I created Taking Control of Your Time, it's your guide to understanding exactly where your mental energy is going and how to reclaim it for what matters most.
You can grab it for free at timeforliving.co/takingcontrol. This will help you map out not just where your time goes, but where your attention and energy go, and how to protect both.
Remember: you're not scattered because you're doing too much. You're scattered because you're trying to do everything in the same mental mode. But when you learn to transition intentionally, each part of your day gets the best of you instead of whatever's left of you.
Your present, intentional life starts with present, intentional transitions. Go give each part of your day the gift of your full attention.
I'll see you next week, and until then, keep reclaiming your presence!