Episode 37 - Why You’re Exhausted Despite Being Successful (And the 4-Step Fix That Changes Everything)

Welcome to Episode 37 of the Time for Living Podcast!

TRANSCRIPT

show notes

Tired of feeling like you have to handle everything yourself while secretly wondering why you’re so exhausted? This week on Time For Living, we’re exposing the “Superwoman Myth”—the belief that asking for help equals weakness—and revealing how this mindset is keeping ambitious women stuck in cycles of overwhelm and burnout. If you’re ready to stop being a martyr to your to-do list and start building systems that actually support your goals, this episode will transform how you think about success and support.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why the belief that you should handle everything alone is sabotaging your success and well-being

• The cultural conditioning that makes high-achieving women resistant to accepting help

• The four-step Strategic Support System approach to delegate, eliminate, and streamline your workload

• How to reframe delegation scripts that actually get results (and feel natural to say)

• A 48-hour “Superwoman Detox” challenge to immediately experience what life feels like with support

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why the most successful people master leveraging help rather than doing everything themselves, and you’ll have a concrete plan to start building your own strategic support system.

Free Resource:

Ready to see exactly where your time is going? DDownload your free ‘Taking Control of Your Time’ workbook to identify your time drains, high-value activities, and what you can immediately delegate or eliminate: timeforliving.co/takingcontrol

Join my email list at timeforliving.co for weekly quick-win tips, exclusive resources, and a supportive community of ambitious women who get it.

Let’s Connect:

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Final Thought:

Your dreams are waiting for you to stop being a martyr and start being the strategic CEO of your own life. True strength isn’t doing everything yourself—it’s designing a life that works for you, not against you.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

TRANSCRIPT - Why You’re Exhausted Despite Being Successful (And the 4-Step Fix That Changes Everything)

Introduction

If you're listening to this while multitasking—maybe answering emails, folding laundry, or sitting in your car between meetings—this episode is specifically for you. I'm about to expose the lie that's keeping you exhausted, overwhelmed, and secretly wondering if you're failing at this whole 'having it all' thing. The truth? You're not failing. You're just trapped in the Superwoman Myth, and it's time to break free.

Welcome back to Time For Living, or if you’re new here, welcome to the Time For Living family. I know you're here because you're tired of feeling like you're constantly behind, constantly overwhelmed, and constantly wondering how everyone else seems to have it figured out while you're barely keeping your head above water.

But here's what I've learned after working with lots of ambitious women just like you—the problem isn't that you're not capable enough or organized enough or strong enough. The problem is that you've been sold this story that independence means isolation, that strength means doing everything yourself, and that asking for help is somehow admitting defeat.

And let me tell you something—this story is exhausting you.

I see you there, nodding along because you know exactly what I'm talking about. You're the woman who says "I've got it" when your colleague offers to help with that project, even though you're already working until 9pm every night. You're the one who tells yourself it's faster to just do it yourself rather than explain it to someone else, even though you're drowning in tasks that could easily be handled by others.

You pride yourself on being the capable one, the reliable one, the one everyone can count on. And that feels good, doesn't it? There's this satisfaction in being known as the person who can handle anything. But behind that superhero cape you're wearing, you're struggling.

Internally, you're drowning in that endless to-do list that seems to grow longer every single day. You're working late nights and weekends, convincing yourself that this is just what success looks like, that this is what it takes to be a high achiever. But then you catch yourself feeling guilty when you can't handle everything perfectly, when something slips through the cracks, when you're too tired to give your best to everything on your plate.

And here's the part that nobody talks about—the hidden cost of this superwoman mentality that's slowly eating away at your life. Your health is taking a hit. You're stress eating because you don't have time for proper meals. You're skipping workouts because there's always something more urgent. Your sleep is suffering because your mind won't stop racing through tomorrow's to-do list.

Your relationships are strained because you're always "busy" or distracted. When your partner tries to talk to you, you're half-listening while mentally running through what you need to get done. When your friends invite you out, you decline because you have too much work to catch up on. You're physically present but mentally somewhere else, always thinking about what you should be doing instead.

And those big dreams you have? The ones that made you ambitious in the first place? They keep getting pushed to "someday" because there's never enough time, never enough space in your overloaded schedule. You tell yourself you'll pursue them when things slow down, when you get caught up, when life gets less crazy—but that someday never comes.

So here you are, successful on paper but feeling empty and exhausted inside. You're checking all the boxes that society says should make you happy, but instead you're running on fumes, wondering why success feels so much like survival.

If this sounds familiar, if you're sitting there thinking "How does she know my life so well?"—then you need to hear what I'm about to tell you next, because everything you've been taught about independence and strength has been keeping you stuck in a cycle that's unsustainable and unnecessary.

Where does the superwoman complex come from?

So let's talk about where this whole superwoman complex actually comes from, because once you understand the root of this belief system, you can start to dismantle it.

The Superwoman Myth has convinced you that asking for help equals weakness or incompetence. It's whispered in your ear that if you can't handle everything on your own, you're somehow less capable than you should be. It's told you that needing support means you're losing control or giving up your independence—the very independence you've worked so hard to build.

But here's where it gets really twisted—this myth has also convinced you that asking for help means you're burdening others, that you're being selfish or needy. So not only are you supposed to handle everything yourself, but you're also supposed to feel guilty about even wanting help. It's this lose-lose situation that keeps you trapped in a cycle of exhaustion and isolation.

The myth tells you that admitting you need assistance is the same as admitting you can't handle your responsibilities. But think about that for a second—where did that belief even come from?

Well, it starts with the societal messaging we've been fed about what it means to be a "strong, independent woman." We've been told that independence is the ultimate goal, that needing anyone else somehow diminishes our worth or our strength. We've been sold this image of the woman who can do it all, have it all, and handle it all without breaking a sweat.

Then there's the workplace culture that rewards martyrdom over efficiency. You know what I'm talking about—the colleague who brags about working weekends gets the promotion, while the one who delegates effectively and goes home at a reasonable hour gets overlooked. We've created this backwards system where being overwhelmed is seen as being dedicated, where burning yourself out is seen as being committed.

And let's be honest about where this really started—childhood conditioning about earning love through performance. Many of us learned early on that we were valued for what we could do, not for who we were. We learned that being helpful, being capable, being the one who could handle things made us worthy of love and attention. So now, as adults, we're still trying to prove our worth through our ability to handle everything independently.

There's also this deep fear that delegating means we're not adding value. If someone else can do what we do, then what makes us special? What makes us necessary? This fear keeps us holding onto tasks and responsibilities that could easily be handled by others, because we're terrified that letting go means we're not essential anymore.

But here's the reality check you need to hear—even CEOs have entire teams supporting them. They have assistants, managers, analysts, and advisors helping them make decisions and execute their vision. Olympic athletes have coaches, nutritionists, trainers, and support staff helping them reach peak performance. Successful entrepreneurs delegate everything except their zone of genius—the things only they can do.

The most productive people in the world are masters of leveraging help, not doing everything themselves. They understand that their value isn't in their ability to handle every single task, but in their ability to create systems, make strategic decisions, and focus their energy on what matters most.

So if you’re still feeling like asking for help makes you weak, I want you to know that’s completely understandable—we’ve all been conditioned to think this way. But what if I told you that this belief system is actually what’s keeping you from the life you really want? The most successful people aren’t the ones doing everything alone—they’re the ones who’ve learned to build incredible support systems around themselves.

Solution Framework

Now that we've torn down the myth, let's build something better in its place. I'm going to walk you through what I call the Strategic Support System approach—four practical steps that'll help you shift from doing everything yourself to designing a life that actually supports your goals.

Step one is the Support Audit, and this is where most people want to skip ahead because it feels boring or obvious. But trust me, you cannot build effective support systems until you know exactly what you're currently handling. I want you to literally list everything that's currently on your plate—and I mean everything. Work projects, household tasks, family responsibilities, personal errands, those random things you do because you've always done them.

Once you have that list, you're going to put each thing into one of three buckets—must do personally, could delegate, or should eliminate entirely. The "must do personally" category should only include things that truly require your unique skills, your experience, or your decision-making ability. These are your thousand-dollar-an-hour activities—the things that only you can do and that directly contribute to your biggest goals.

Then calculate the true cost of your time spent on those low-value tasks. If you're spending five hours a week on things that could be delegated for twenty dollars an hour, you're essentially paying yourself twenty dollars an hour to do work that's keeping you from your highest-value activities. That math doesn't make sense for someone with your ambitions.

Step two is building your Help Hierarchy, which is basically mapping out all the different ways you can get support. There are four main categories here, and you want to think strategically about each one.

Professional support includes things like virtual assistants, house cleaners, grocery delivery services, and task automation tools. This is where you invest money to buy back time. Your personal network includes family members, friends, and reciprocal arrangements with other busy professionals. Maybe you trade childcare with another parent or meal prep with a friend.

Then there are systems and tools—apps, templates, and processes that eliminate manual work entirely. If you're still creating presentations from scratch every time instead of using templates, or manually scheduling social media posts instead of using automation tools, you're making things harder than they need to be.

Finally, outsourced services like meal prep, dry cleaning, lawn care, and house cleaning. These aren't luxuries—they're investments in your time and energy that allow you to focus on what matters most.

Step three is mastering the delegation scripts, because how you ask for help determines whether you get it and whether it's effective. Instead of saying "I can handle it," try "I'd love help with this. Could you take ownership of X by Friday?" See the difference? You're not just asking for help—you're giving someone ownership and a clear deadline.

Instead of "It's faster if I do it myself," try "I'm going to invest time training you now so we both save time later." This reframes the conversation from a short-term inconvenience to a long-term investment in efficiency.

Step four is the control reframe, and this is crucial because control is usually what keeps us stuck in the superwoman trap. Real control isn't doing everything yourself—that's actually being out of control, reactive, and overwhelmed. True control is designing systems that work without your constant involvement.

Leaders create leverage; they don't do all the work. They understand that their job is to set direction, make strategic decisions, and ensure quality outcomes—not to personally execute every single task. When you shift from doing everything to designing systems that work, you're not losing control—you're gaining it.

This isn't about becoming lazy or disconnected from your work and life. It's about becoming strategic about where you invest your time and energy so you can actually achieve those big dreams you keep pushing to someday.

Summary

Okay, so here's where we stop talking and start doing something about this. I'm calling this your 48-Hour Superwoman Detox because honestly, that's all the time you need to get a taste of what your life could feel like when you're not trying to handle absolutely everything yourself.

So today—like literally today, not tomorrow when you feel more organized or next week when things calm down—I want you to pick just one thing that you normally do yourself and either hand it off to someone else or just stop doing it altogether. I know, I know, this probably makes you want to break out in hives just thinking about it, but that's exactly why we need to do this.

Let me give you some ideas because I know your brain is probably going blank right now. Order your groceries online instead of dragging yourself to the store for an hour. Ask your partner to take over something around the house that you always handle. Use a template for that thing you're always creating from scratch—maybe it's a presentation or an email or whatever. Or here's a radical idea—say no to something that doesn't actually matter to your goals but you said yes to because you felt like you should.

And I already know what you're thinking because I've heard this a thousand times—"But what if they don't do it exactly the way I would do it?" Listen, here's the reality check you need—done is better than perfect every single time, and you getting your time back to focus on the stuff that actually matters is way better than you micromanaging every little detail of everything.

This week, try what I call the "Help Me Help You" approach. When someone offers to help you with something—your coworker, your partner, your friend, whoever—just say yes. I know this feels totally backwards because you're used to being the one who helps everyone else, but we're practicing something new here.

And when you catch yourself about to say "I've got it"—and you will catch yourself—just pause for a second and ask: is this really something that only I can do, or am I just falling back into my old habit? Nine times out of ten, it's the habit talking. Start keeping track of how much time you save and how you feel when you actually let other people help you. I'm betting you're going to be shocked at both.

But here's the thing that's really going to change everything for you—you've got to start thinking about yourself differently. Right now you probably think "I'm the person who handles everything," but that's exactly what's keeping you stuck. I want you to start thinking "I'm the person who creates solutions and builds systems that work." You're not the person who does all the work—you're the person who figures out how to make life work better.

That shift right there? From being the doer to being the designer? That's what separates the women who stay exhausted and overwhelmed from the women who actually get to their big dreams. You're not giving up being ambitious—you're just being smarter about it.

Alright, so here's what I need you to do right now, before you get distracted by whatever's next on your list. Go grab my free Time Audit Workbook. And here's why this matters so much—you can't figure out what to delegate until you actually know where all your time is going. Most of the women I work with are completely shocked when they see what they're actually spending their hours on.

This workbook is going to help you see your time drains, figure out what activities are actually worth your time, and most importantly, what you can hand off to someone else or just stop doing completely. It's literally the same process I walk my private clients through, and they're getting back ten, fifteen, sometimes twenty hours a week. You can download it right now at timeforliving/takingcontrol

Because here's what I've learned—the women who break free from this superwoman thing the fastest are the ones who get really honest about their time first. Your dreams are sitting there waiting for you to stop being a martyr and start being the CEO of your own life.

I'll see you next week with another way to take back your time and actually build the life you want instead of just surviving the one you have.